Picture the scene: it’s 1am, you’ve just finished a bar shift and you walk into The Crobar on Soho’s Manette Street. The bar is five-people deep, Black Sabbath are pumping out of the jukebox, and cans of Red Stripe are being grabbed out of a bin. “Ah, these are my people,” Simo Simpson says, sighing at the memory of a similar scene at his favourite post-work haunt.
Sadly, The Crobar’s closure (along with other iconic London dive bars) marked a sign of the times for late-night hangouts which were left behind by hiked up rent, lack of government support and impossible margins. It marked a huge blow for the people who had become part of a hallowed community of likeminded people there over its near-20 years of operation.
But London has gained a new bar which hopes to go some way to having a similar sort of communal legacy. All My Gods on Bethnal Green’s Paradise Row is the latest lovechild of the lads behind Dram: Simo Simpson, Chris Tanner and Jack Wallis.
All My Gods
The boys are no strangers to opening and running popular bars (alongside Dram and Tanner’s Cav, they also have the re-branded Milroy’s of Soho). This time, however, they have a secret weapon in the form of Roxy Velvet (“we call her the ‘Queen of Vibes’”), the former owner of the all-female tattoo parlour Velvet Underground. She has a background in burlesque and cabaret and an adoration of motorcycles (and thigh-high white leather boots).
“I don’t think I’d even closed the doors (to Velvet Underground) when I’d decided I would be dedicating my time to painting and being a good girl,” she says of her better laid plans. “And then these boys rang me up and asked, ‘Do you wanna open a dive bar?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah!’” Now, she’s a co-founder of one.
Velvet’s involvement has been crucial in building All My Gods. “If me, Chris and Jack had opened this just us, it would be a disservice to what we’re trying to achieve,” says Simpson, who adds that Velvet was his first call when the wheels began to kick into motion.
“Because of the cultures we wanted to tap into, we wanted to make sure that we had somebody who could help us,” continues Tanner, touching on the sort of local communities — from tattooists to bikers — the bar hopes to attract. “And that’s when the conversation about Roxy came about.”
When Velvet opened her tattoo parlour in 2016, it was as much a statement about macho culture in tattooing as it was a place to leave arrogance at the door — all things she has instilled in All My Gods. “It’s really nice to have that place that brings in people from all different kinds of life that’s more natural, casual, a fun place to go and somewhere you can go on your own too,” she says. “It has a lot of female energy too, which is important — girls like drinking and rock ‘n’ roll and motorbikes and getting messy as well.”
£13 glasses of fine champagne
All My Gods
When it comes to its drinking scene, London has had what feels like a sanitisation in recent years, with old fashioned, late-night boozing being replaced with quiet, esoteric early nights. But All My Gods, alongside neighbours Rasputins, Blondies and Helgi’s, feels like the perfect antidote.
“Drinking has become an art,” says Simpson. “I’m not throwing shade; there is a place for that in London. But I think we’re missing the point of what drinking culture is in this country. My favourite concept ever is your local pub — how do we do derivatives of that?”
Tanner agrees: “There is a craving for these irreverent, naughty spots.”
That said, Tanner is cautious of calling All My Gods a dive bar — after all, dive bars can’t really be orchestrated as such. “What makes a dive bar a dive bar is 34 years of mismanagement and unplumbed toilets,” he says, eliciting laughs from his colleagues. “I’m reluctant to tap too much into the idea of a dive bar: it’s more of a rock bar, an ode to that culture, a neighbourhood spot. Teenage me would be over the moon to be operating it.”
Unlike their teenage selves, these experienced operators now have well-earned wisdom in their bones. Everything they’ve learned at Dram has been considered in their new bar on Paradise Row.
“Dram is our baby and we poured a lot of ourselves into it,” says Wallis. “This is a lot more aligned with the bars that me, Chris and Simo started hanging out in… Still informed by what we’ve learned from Dram, at a level of quality that is fun and not taken too seriously.”
Thankfully, this won’t be an Epcot-esque mimicry of a rock ‘n’ roll bar, nor will Americana be delivered with deadpan irony. “It would be disingenuous for us to put neon lights everywhere and be like ‘Hey, welcome to New Orleans’,” Wallis says, half-laughing.
No, designer Louis Yearwood has leant more into a black metal aesthetic, with a nod to Nordic stave churches with grey and black matte tones, alongside tattoo ink-painted furniture and exhaust pipe wall lights. The industrial angles are accented by the branding of graphic designer Max Wilson who has crafted three two-metre-high banners in collaboration with artist Adele Morse, the artwork of which has been inspired by the gods of Mesopotamia and uses a custom font, Vomis Purgas. Hung through the centre, they bring a tactile territorialism to the lofty space.
Vibes and vending machines
All My Gods
There’s a pool table, a motorbike podium, outdoor benches, banquettes, a central leaning bar and a wall-adjacent stoop, all underpinning a laissez-faire approach when it comes to the simple act of sitting down. Milling, mixing (and maybe moshing) are much more de rigueur. Top tip? There are some coveted spots on the service side of the bar.
So to the drinks. For a bar run by some of the best in the business, the drinks aren’t this particular bar’s focus. “We don’t want to create a bar where people are sitting there talking about the drinks,” says Tanner matter-of-factly.
That doesn’t mean they won’t come with the quality expected, though. Gone are the days of sacrificing flavour for fun. “It seems like there is a fundamental distinction between bars you go to for good drinks, or those you go to where the drinks are shit and you just want to party,” explains Tanner. “There is a world where the two can co-exist. We’ll have really considered products, leverage our position, be a bit tongue in cheek and just show what else the Dram boys can do.”
Cocktails on tap range from mezcal verditas and watermelon margaritas to nitro Garibaldis and frozen nuclear daiquiris. There are also espresso martinis, while picklebacks (Buffalo Trace bourbon and house pickle brine), Buzzballz and White Claw from the vending machine (among other ready-to-drink takeaways) are very much encouraged. Special mention to the £8 martini too (maybe there is a God?).
All drinks are, staggeringly, are £10 or under (£10 for a house cocktail, £7 for wine, £6.50 Guinness and cider, £6 picklebacks and £5 a lager), the exception being Ruinart Blanc de Blanc for £13 a glass (the cheapest in the UK). It’s a welcome reprieve from London’s ever-rising prices. “Don’t you think there’s also been a backlash to luxury at the moment?” asks Velvet rhetorically. Food isn’t top of the agenda either, but future partnerships are part of the plan.
As the team gears up for opening after a busy soft-launch, it already feels like there’s been a change in the wind. Slinging shots, slugging beers, cracking White Claws: is it finally time to have fun again in London?
“We’re not here to sell you a drinks concept,” says Simpson, “we’re selling you a good time.” Amen to that.