Why society never puts confidence on a pedestal

How women can practice self-reliance in their lives and careers

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I wrote a whole book about practicing self-reliance. I didn’t write it because I am the strong, independent woman that I am; I wrote it because I feel like society has gone soft and too many people look to “others” for permission. The truth is, if you know the skills and have the tools to trust yourself, you will not only be happier, but you will also become a valuable contributor to society, your family, your community, and your relationship.

Parents try so hard to save their children that the children are not prepared for the challenges they may experience later in life. Some of the younger generations don’t have the ability to make their own decisions and rely on mom and dad to save them instead of figuring things out on their own. reason? They have not been taught the importance of self-reliance and mental toughness. They trust their phones, parents, social media instead of trusting themselves. And then they enter the workforce with skewed expectations of what they want their employers to do for them.

Too often:

• We expect our supervisors and managers to guide our careers and make us rock stars at work, and to reward and promote us. We expect others to give us opportunities to shine when we can actually create them for ourselves by listening, anticipating needs, and being strategic about timing and approach. We take the initiative to bring added value to our employers through efficiency and delivering exceptional results.;
• We expect others to prioritize our needs, when in fact we know what is in our best interests;
• We outsource decision-making – which is a critical muscle to build and develop, especially in the face of adversity or challenge – when in fact we should be trusting our gut and intuition to guide us and listen to our needs because we live the consequences of our decisions. ;
• We trust others before we trust ourselves. Social comparisons reinforced by social media feed insecurities, causing us to defer to others when we should be investing in ourselves.

Self-reliance is a superpower. Not only does it make you valuable, but it also makes you invaluable to others. However, society has never put self-reliance on a pedestal and rarely celebrates it. The term often gets a bad rap and is seen as synonymous with independence or selfishness, as if self-sufficient people don’t need anyone else. This misconception is why self-sufficiency needs both redefinition and rebranding. My definition of self-sufficiency has nothing to do with independence.

It’s all about investing in yourself, appealing to yourself and trusting yourself. It’s about the fact that you have made yourself the most powerful resource with which you can be a meaningful contributor to society. When you focus on your growth and bring your best self and strength to the table, you become a net positive in the world around you.

What if we all focused on improving ourselves first? Too often we blame others for our unhappiness, when the truth is, we are solely responsible for our results. It’s time to recognize the value of our own potential and invest in it.

The new narrative of self-reliance that we must embrace is about:

• Be a lifelong learner, don’t wait for others to teach you, seek knowledge yourself. The internet, podcasts, books and talks are amazing FREE resources that we can use every day.
• Understanding that knowledge is powerful and valuable. So why not trust that you are a source of skills, understanding and knowledge?
• Get up and put in the work and effort instead of relying on others to do everything for you.
• To be a creator of value for others. If you learn how to create value for other people, they will know that you are trustworthy, a positive influence on others, and invaluable to your employer and team members.

Self-reliance creates strong individuals, which in turn creates strong jobs, communities and a vibrant, self-fulfilling society.

Imagine a world where we are all programmed to trust ourselves, invest in our growth, and make confident decisions.

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